What Happens in Vegas Doesn’t Actually Stay in Vegas

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The “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” slogan is the leading cause of divorce according to a scientific study that was never actually conducted. But in all seriousness, that catchy little slogan, along with “The Hangover” and other movies, is partially responsible for why so many people make such poor decisions in a town accurately named “Sin City.”

That iconic saying is about as accurate as a weather forecast. The only thing that won’t come home with you after your trip is the money you put into a slot machine. As for the STD you contracted from that $69 “escort,” that’s going home with you. Ditto for the guilt you’ll feel if you cheat on your spouse.

I’m not here to lecture you or tell you to be a good little choir boy while you’re in Vegas. By all means, live it up while you’re in town. This is one of the best tourist destinations in the world and you should have a blast on your trip, and not just at the poker table.

But you need to show some restraint if you’re going to be focused at the poker tables. Those $69 hookers advertised all over town look pretty darn hot in pictures. However, pictures can be deceiving. If she shows up at your hotel room looking like a meth addict, don’t blame me.

Spend one night on your trip living it up. Don’t play poker that night. Instead, go out to a club on the Strip, play some blackjack (within reason), hit up one of our many delicious steakhouses, and flirt with some hotties. And then don’t head back to the poker table until the evening the following day because you’ll probably be too hungover to focus.

Las Vegas is an awesome town. There is so much to do and see here. Your trip should involve more than spending 12 hours a day at the poker table and sleeping the remaining hours. But if you are more focused on chasing tail and drinking beer than playing cards, you’ll go home broke and full of regret.

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